Timesofummah.com – In this era, LDR (Long Distance Relationship) or what is commonly referred to as long distance relationship is common in any area. Long distance relationships, whether between cities or even between countries, both provide ups and downs that test loyalty!
Ups and downs LDR with a partner
Then, what are the joys and sorrows experienced by these LDR fighters? Let’s see!
1. If you miss your partner, it’s hard to meet
Geographical distance is the main obstacle that is often encountered by each of these LDR fighters. Whether it’s the distance between cities or between countries, the distance still makes the two people seem to have a barrier or boundary between them.
If both people feel longing for each other, like it or not, they have to hold back their longing first. If you want to meet up, it’s not spontaneous, you can meet that day because the distance you have to travel is not close, so it can cost you a lot of time and money.
2. Communication is sometimes hindered by busyness and other obstacles
LDR fighters definitely agree with making intense communication the key to their lasting relationship. Currently, with the sophistication of existing technology, communication with partners can be done through social media. Be it via text (chat), via telephone, or even via video call.
However, not infrequently this communication can also be hampered by several things, such as the busyness of each one which is of course different. For example, you are missing your partner and then communicate with him, but your partner is busy with their work so that communication between the two parties does not run smoothly. It could be the other way around.
Another barrier that occurs in partner communication is signaling. If you or your partner are in an area that rarely has a network signal, it will definitely interfere with the communication process.
3. Get bored quickly with your partner
LDR couples are always faced with a breakup that causes them to separate. Why? Because LDR couples usually feel bored with their partners because they rarely do face-to-face or meet up.
Feelings of boredom and boredom can indeed happen to all couples, not only LDR couples. However, many of the experiences of former LDR fighters say that the long-distance relationship they experience can actually cause boredom to their partners so that in the end they decide to separate.
4. Become more possessive of your partner
After communication between the two is hampered, surely you or your partner may feel suspicious. Negative questions arise that fill our minds such as “Why is he not picking up my phone, is he having an affair with me?”
The emergence of negative thinking in the minds of LDR fighters unconsciously causes a sense of possessiveness and suspicion towards their partner. It can happen because we don’t know what our partner is doing there.
There are even some couples who require them to provide a “report” of what their activities are today, who they are going with, where are their current destinations, to their partner. This is actually not just a mere news but instead a report that seems to be done. If not, it is likely that our partner will be angry and increase suspicion.
5. Be easily angry with your partner
After the emergence of suspicion and possessiveness to your partner due to hampered communication, you or your partner may become annoyed and then angry. Getting angry with your partner and then blaming them for not responding to your messages quickly, for example, can actually exacerbate the problem.
Even though it is not necessarily the negative thinking that is passing through your mind is a reality. Lower your ego a little to apologize to your partner for your suspicions and possessiveness…
6. Be jealous of other partners
While on the way to campus or work, for example, we meet another couple who are together making love. You will definitely feel jealous and think “Why can they be together like that when my partner and I are so far apart like this?”
Such thoughts are common among LDR fighters. Envy of others does not only apply to aspects of luxury or intelligence, but can also occur in the harmony of other couples.
7. Chance of temptation to have an affair is greater
You must have often come across stories from them of LDR fighters who were forced to end their relationship because their partner was caught having an affair. For that, it really depends on each individual. Not all LDR fighters will be faced with infidelity stories because in fact many LDR fighters are still loyal to their partners.
However, why do the average LDR fighters end their relationship because of infidelity. The answer is simple, because we don’t know what your partner is doing there so the opportunity to play with fire behind your back can happen because you don’t get caught.
8. Blocked by costs for meeting agendas
In the previous point, the obstacles that LDR fighters often encounter in communicating are busy times and network signals. However, financial problems can also be a frightening specter in fighting for this long-distance relationship.
This can happen if you or your partner are in an unstable financial condition. For example, you and your partner are both not well established and are working with a salary that is not too high. While the geographical distance between you and your partner is quite far. When using public transportation and going back and forth, it costs quite a bit. Of course that’s an obstacle, isn’t it on your meeting agenda with your partner?
Then, how do we outsmart this? The answer is saving. Set an agenda to meet with your partner, for example, once every three or four months. So that your love and financial life can be both lasting and not burden you completely.
9. Can’t be with your partner all the time
Because of the distance, of course, these LDR fighters cannot be with their partners every time and every day. It’s sometimes difficult to meet just because there are obstacles, especially to be together all the time.
As the name implies, which is a long-distance relationship, the process of the relationship is at a distance that is not close.
10. The possibility of breaking up is greater
Actually, the chance of breaking up can happen to every couple, not only to LDR fighters. It depends on the loyalty that you and your partner have. If you and your partner have a strong commitment to be loyal to each other so that they can continue to a more serious level, of course the word “break up” will not come from both sides.
It does not rule out the possibility that LDR fighters can last and last. However, many cases that are often encountered today regarding LDR fighters who have to let their relationship end due to distance, occur a lot.
The existence of boredom, suspicion, and not being able to hold back longing like that is a common cause of breaking up between long distance relationship couples. Maybe for some people, this LDR can be a spice in a love story, but for some people, this LDR can be a frightening specter that can be avoided as much as possible.
Positive Impact of LDR Relationship
In any discussion, LDR is often considered a frightening specter for every couple. This is because more grief is experienced as a result of the LDR process. In fact, it turns out, there are also many aspects of love that are obtained from this LDR process! What are the positive impacts that can be obtained from a long distance relationship? Let’s see!
1. Become a more frugal person
LDR fighters, have you ever realized that your long distance relationship can actually make you a person who is far more frugal than before?
Of course yes!
Guess why? Because for LDR couples, meeting up is rare, so spending on dating with a partner is reduced. Then, what are the fees we usually use for these dates?
The answer is yes use it to save! By saving, you will subconsciously help you when you are in a difficult situation, later. Saving to go to a more serious level is also possible.
2. Become an independent person
In general, young couples often do any activity with their partner. However, what about LDR fighters who are difficult to even meet?
Well, don’t worry, for you LDR fighters, because it turns out that the long-distance relationship you are doing will actually have a lot of positive impacts. One of them is to make you and your partner as individuals who are more independent than before.
You can do daily activities on your own. Don’t be afraid to travel and do your own activities, because it turns out to be more fun! You can work on assignments in the library alone which can make you more focused. You can also invite your friends to help decorate the room and others.
Anyway, from this long distance relationship you can become someone who doesn’t depend on other people (including your partner) and you can spend quality time on your own!
3. More able to value time
When the schedule for meeting with your partner is done, don’t be busy playing on your cellphone. You and your partner can exchange stories about each other’s busyness, solve problems that occurred in the past, chat about random things, joke, take pictures together, and more.
When you finally get to meet your partner after being separated by distance and time, you have to appreciate the time you have to see each other is not long. After that, you and your partner will return to their respective activities as before.
Therefore, use the time you have as well as possible so that the quality time spent is more romantic.
4. Can process into a better version
LDR usually occurs for certain reasons, such as employment or educational reasons. If you and your partner are separated by the same reason, namely education, then you and your partner can progress to become a better version.
How to? Namely by developing the potential and talents of each, both you and your partner. You and your partner must have dreams and goals that are certainly not the same. For example, you have a dream to be the author of a book while your partner wants to be a graphic designer.
Well, you and your partner can focus on developing yourself through these dreams. Motivate yourself and your partner that someday these dreams will come true. For example, by thinking that in the future you and your partner can create a children’s story book by making you the author and your partner as the graphic designer.
5. Practice trust in your partner
In a commitment to dealing with the opposite sex, trust is the key to a lasting relationship. You and your partner have to trust each other…
You have to trust that your partner will be loyal and will not betray you, and vice versa. This trust must be built slowly. Get rid of the negative thinking that often runs in your brain.
But remember, if you have been given complete trust by your partner, don’t betray that trust!
6. Focus more on doing something
When you have a busy life, for example, busy doing a task, tell your partner that you can’t be bothered for a moment so that the task is completed. After that, you will definitely feel “calm” and focused when doing something.
Do not underestimate the focus in the process of working on something. If you focus and concentrate on doing something, be it a college assignment or an office assignment, the results will definitely be maximized and much better.
Remember the previous point, even though you and your partner are in a long distance relationship, it will not slow down the process of developing yourself and your partner.
7. Better time management
When doing LDR or long distance relationships, communication between you and your partner is only through social media. Therefore, you can focus more on activities. In addition, you will also be smart in managing the time between busyness and communicating with your partner.
For example, set a time to communicate with your partner when the day is right at rest and at 19:00 at night. Outside of that time, you can use it to develop yourself, study, do homework, and others.
Well, that’s the ups and downs that are often obtained from this long distance relationship or LDR. Whether it’s an LDR or not, remember that the key to a lasting relationship is communication. Don’t hesitate to say sorry if you did something wrong.